Ten ways to overcome shyness

1. Have faith in yourself: If you genuinely believe you are likeable, you will communicate your belief to others. Think about what you're good at and what you enjoy, and build on those abilities. For instance, if you prefer to listen than to talk, use that to show people how good a listener you are. You will be surprised what a dearth of good listeners there is!

2. Meet new people: To become less shy, you need to become comfortable around strangers. The best way to do this is by making an effort to meet new people. As you keep meeting new people you will feel much more at ease when you are in the presence of people you do not know very well.

3. Join a group: Join in activities which give you a chance to interact with people, such as fitness classes, a college activity group, a hobby club or an office discussion group. Once you are a part of one of these, make sure you always contribute in some way, no matter how small, and after a while, you'll get comfortable with it.

4. Don't take things too personally: If you want to succeed in the game of socialising, you can't take every comment, insinuation or joke as a personal affront. People sometimes say things they don't mean. However, if you are sure that someone has made an inappropriate comment about you, you should definitely stand up for yourself.

5. Don't fear rejection: The trick here is not to be self-conscious and simply focus on the activity and not the outcome. For instance, if you have something to say, don’t waste time thinking how you’ll sound or how people will react. Just say it as naturally as possible.

6. Take small steps: Start with a smile; show everyone you're friendly and approachable. Then progress to saying "hello." A few days after that, engage in small talk. Keep going, and as you gradually open yourself up to people, you will see it's not as hard as you thought.

7. Focus on others: Shyness and hesitation occur when you think about your flaws. Instead, focus on the person you're talking to. If you make a blunder, forget about it. Most people are more forgiving than you think.

8. Visualise: Visualisation means creating mental pictures of behaviours and situations that you would like to be involved in. You can daydream real-life situations. Start small, like a casual conversation with a co-worker. Then imagine scenarios that are out of character for you. This will help you handle these situations in real life.

9. Be well-informed: Have something to say. Keep up on current events, sports, amusing stories. If the conversation lulls, have new topics ready. And to ease the burden of initiating something, have a few icebreakers handy to get the ball rolling.

10. Build your self-esteem: Take pride in your skills and share what you can do with others. Stop negative thinking. When you catch yourself being too self-critical, counter it by saying something positive about yourself. Take pride in your opinions and ideas - and don't be afraid to voice them.

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